[30 Jan 2006|11:40pm] [ music | Set Your Goals- Goonies Never Say Die ] Hello there. Im really not in the mood to write anything long and pointless, so i'll just make this short (and more than likely, no less pointless). Life is good for the most part, everything seems to be clicking away just fine. There are a few problems here and there as always, but i'm not going to stress over those anymore, at least not for right now, not in light of this present moment, what we have here in front of us. Im just going to take things one step at a time, no jumping around here and there, uselessly trying to change something that will or won't happen regardless of what i do. Don't get me wrong, im not standing still watching the clouds go by, i have my goals, my thouhgts, my dreams, all of that is still there, but i recognize them for what they are, and when the right time comes to put plans into action, i will do so, i have promised myself no more and no less than my best effort. But sometimes, you have to appreciate a moment for what it's worth. I won't get into some poignant description of what an average day is to me at this point, but just know this; for every second spent, for every breath taken, for every sight seen, i am grateful, and amazed that so much could be taken for so little. I'm not going to waste my time picking the dead flowers from a garden of past mistakes and missed opportunities. so what if things don't turn out the way i planned? its really better that way. because in truth, no matter what we choose, no matter what we decide to achieve, no matter how high our expectancy, there is always somethin greater, there is always something more beautiful, and i think i understand that now. its hard to comprehend, but i know to not expect anything, because in that expeactancy i have limited myself to my own physical boundaries. Damn. I did it again, i always make these so long and so involved, i don't even think you read them, and even as i write that, its like an empty statement, because it really doesn't matter if you read them, this isn't for you, it's for me. but i don't want it to be just for me, you see, i want others to read it, to think about it, maybe even understand. but you can't understand something that you weren't meant to understand, i don't even know if I get it. its disconcerting when you think how pointless everything could be. but the truth is, i wouldn't have it any other way. how can something be valuable to us if there's nothing that we could care less about? if there was never anything that was worthless, we would have no prized possessions. things exist solely for the purpose of their inverse, death exists for life, hate exists for us to love, how can we feel complete if we've never felt that hollow emptiness? we can only be happy if we've felt the weight of unbearable sadness, it's all there, but for one to exist, we must have the opposite, otherwise it means nothing at all to us. i know that now, and i want to know the whole spectrum, so that i can fully appreciate the times like these. thats all i suppose. i apologize for subjecting you to that terrible rambling, its all rubbish, take it as you like, i'm going to bed. 4 comments|post comment

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